Tweak by Nic Sheff

Wow this was a really great book. I enjoyed reading it because it was so raw and real. I like how he tells the reader how being addicted to these drugs really feels. He emphasizes the incredible highs, but also how these drugs can take over and ruin someone’s life. Nic Sheff’s life was filled with experiences that were eye opening. I like how he writes very nonchalantly about very intense, painful and sometimes odd experiences. At certain points in the book Nic would discuss blood squirting out of the needle or prostituting as if they were everyday normal experiences; these were his everyday experiences. I liked how he gave us insight into a lifestyle filled with these experiences in which I cannot relate to. Nic throughout the book seems like a genuinely good guy. He cares about everyone around him and just wants acceptance. Throughout the book I was rooting for him to stay clean and change his life around. As I continued reading I saw this less and less probable as he continued relapsing each time. I felt the same way as Nic’s father, I wanted to believe that he had changed, but it was something we heard all too often and he never stuck to his word completely.

I’ll admit it, I cried at the end of the book. I thought it was very touching how Nic and his parents were able to dig deeper to the root of their problems. Nic’s mother admits that they have done a lot to hurt Nic; this was the first time in the book that Nic’s parents took some responsibility for how their parenting may have effected Nic and his problems. Since Nic is known for relapsing, it is possible that he would in the future but the epilogue discusses how he has moved to Savannah and has been happy there. After reading the book I feel that Nic’s seems like such a kind hearted person that I only wish the best for him in the future. He has had many struggles and he’s the type of character that you want something to go right in their life for once.

Another point that stood out to me was Nic’s belief in God. At first he was vocal about saying that he did not believe in God and that he was a militant atheist. We see a progression throughout the book of him trying to find his spirituality through his hardships. The book discusses the first time he prayed to God for serenity, but wasn’t sure if he believed in God. Then when Nic was first in recovery and relying on Spencer, he would pray everyday to clear his mind. It was interesting to see Nic going from believing there was no God or supernatural being to praying to God everyday.

It was interesting reading the book from Nic’s perspective, but I’m also curious to see how his father’s perspective differed. Nic’s father has been very skeptical throughout the book due to Nic’s cycling of relapses. Even at the end of the book his father is not sure if it was the right thing for him to visit Nic at the Safe Passage Center. I understand his frustration with Nic’s relapsing, but the father comes off to me as a little harsh in the book. On the other hand, I do understand that Nic has stolen and pretty much given up his family in order to support his drug habit. I think getting better insight into his father’s thinking will help me to even better understand their relationship. Does his father, like his mother, believe that the way that he raised Nic had something to do with his problems?

In this book we can see many of the frameworks that Arthur Frank creates in his book. One of the body types that I saw a lot was the mirroring body. Nic discusses that he has always tried to keep a nice physical appearance because he can’t change the darkness inside of him. So by dressing and looking nice on the outside, he thought it would fix the inside. Nic shifts between all the types of narratives. When Nic is content being clean and things are looking good in his life he is in the restitution narrative. When Nic relapses or has intense urges to relapse he is in the chaos narrative. He doesn’t know what is going on and his life is not making sense to him. He even says he doesn’t want to live anymore. At the end of the book mostly and in small parts throughout the book we see the quest narrative. At the end Nic wants to make amends with his hardships and grow from them. At the Safe Passage Center Nic works to re-experience his trauma so he can grieve with it in a healthy manner and learn from the past.