Harold & Maude

I first saw part of this movie in high school. My first impression was that it was weird and I didn’t really understand what was going on. First of all, my teacher only showed us a brief portion of this movie. Second, I don’t think I really paid any attention. Seeing a portion of the movie out of context was really confusing and turned me off from this movie. I didn’t view enough of the film to get the theme or meaning behind what was happening. After seeing it for a second time I absolutely love this movie. For most of the movie we were all hysterically laughing and it really is a “feel good” movie.

I thought the contrast between Harold and Maude was vital to the movie being so good and odd at the same time. Other than the obvious difference in age, Maude loved to live and Harold loved “being dead.” Although he didn’t really love death (especially when Maude decided it was her time to go), but wanted to recreate his mother’s reaction to thinking he had been killed in a tragic chem. lab accident. Harold wanted to feel loved and worthwhile (it was a cry out for attention). Throughout his life he had been given everything (material wise) but his mother never showed him any affection or said that she loved him; she just seemed to enjoy controlling every aspect of his life (the kind of car he drove, who he dated, etc). Maude filled this void and showed Harold attention, affection and love.

This movie absolutely could never be recreated again successfully. Even during the time period it was made I think it would have been extremely difficult to find actors that could make it work, and definitely not today. Between Harold’s priceless facial expressions and Maude’s ability to show how she still thinks she’s hot, (even at 80) I do think it would be nearly impossible to recreate. Harold and Maude is such an odd movie that it teeters between being terrible and extraordinary. One mistake could ruin the entire movie; this movie is so great because it hits every topic just right, whether it is comedy, romance, inspiration, and even the political undertones. When we were discussing in class who would play these characters today, we could only imagine how it would turn out ha!

In the movie Harold says, “I haven’t lived, I’ve died a few times.” I think living with his mother almost made Harold feel as life wasn’t worth living. The poor kid was crying out for attention and to be treated like a normal kid. He could be given anything on a silver platter, and his mother literally suffocated him on a daily basis. Who wants to live by being suffocated? When Harold met Maude he felt as if he had been given life. Maude’s character is everything that Harold’s mother isn’t and Harold loves that aspect. As Harold’s mother is naming off the questions from the dating service and answering them, her answers are very conventional, whereas Maude is very unconventional and free.

Celestina Presentation

I really enjoyed this lecture on human subjectivity. Reading the play Celestina, I was very captivated by the humorous parts. This play differs from the traditional Romeo and Juliet timeless love story by the realistic portrayal of human weakness and longing. Each of the main characters shares the tragic flaw of loving an image. At the end of the lecture we concluded that humans are in love with being in love. Whenever our desires for the time being are fulfilled we may experience instant gratification, but then desire something else. There is a never ending cycle of unfulfilled desires that continues throughout our lives. I like this play because it echoes something that everyone experiences in their loves. Not everyone experiences a timeless love story as Romeo and Juliet, but everyone identifies with desiring something and the search to fulfill those desires.

Also, we discussed the power of the image. The fact that an image has no agency on its own, but is so powerful is a fascinating concept. Calisto and Melibea fall in love with the image of perfection, which they believe the other embodies. When we fall in love we love the image of the person, but this image is not true. We may say that we get caught up in being in love that we reject the imperfections that the person has. We have an idealized image of who we want the person to be and how they will make our lives complete, but we know this isn’t the case. Maybe there is an incompleteness that all humans are looking for another person to fill; we want to believe that this person is the end all and will make us “happy.” “Happiness” being a fleeting emotion until reality sets in. Like when you first begin dating someone it’s all fun and games, but once you’ve established a serious long lasting relationship you begin to have to deal with serious relationship issues. I think it’s interesting how this cycle of desire continues throughout our entire lives. We think we are truly happy with the person that we love, we think that our dream job makes us truly happy, we think that moving will make us happy…all these things can and usually do change in an instant when we least expect it, then we continue looking for the next thing to “really make us happy” and so on.

I like how the end of our discussion tied in together nicely, it’s simply what it means to be human. We are meant to have unfulfilled desires and trying to constantly fill these with whatever will make us “happy” at the time. The journey and learning are the most important part of being human. One thing in our lives is not going to fulfill all of our desires, hope and dreams; it’s more about accepting what actually will happen and learning from the not so perfect things we encounter. How could we appreciate the good if we didn’t have the bad? We must learn that one “thing” cannot make us entirely happy, or even a combination of “things.” Life is guaranteed to throw you curveballs, so you must be prepared to deal with these. As humans we must accept that change will always be consistent and we need to adapt our lives in order to maintain sanity.

And this reminds me of a Grey’s Anatomy quote:
"Maybe we're not supposed to be happy. Maybe gratitude has nothing to do with joy. Maybe being grateful means recognizing what you have for what it is. Appreciating small victories. Admiring the struggle it takes to simply be human. Maybe, we're thankful for the familiar things we know. And maybe we're thankful for the things we'll never know. At the end of the day, the fact that we have the courage to still be standing is reason enough to celebrate"

"Rape is Funny" Presentation

I really found this topic interesting and I’m glad that we were able to discuss this topic. As society continues to push the envelope, I think that we become numb to certain things. For instance some rape jokes may not have any humor whatsoever, but do we laugh just because that is the expected response and we’ve been conditioned to thinking things such as rape are funny? I think the major issue about rape jokes is the context in which the joke occurs. If a television show or comedian uses in the joke in a witty, tasteful way than the joke can be genuinely appropriate. These jokes make us think and get us somewhere. When jokes are made in a vile manner, for no constructive purpose than it becomes too much. I think people do use the “it’s not me” card and separate themselves so far from the situation that rape jokes may seem funny in any context. By saying “it’s not me” we draw attention away from the real problem and tastefully done jokes can make us think about the bigger picture.

The quote that got me really thinking was the one about if we aren’t able to control rapes in prison with gates and guards with guns than how will we able to stop it from happening in the outside world? This is so true. There is obviously the stereotype of if you go to prison you will be raped and made “someone’s bitch.” The frightening part is that law enforcement may be able to do more to stop this treatment of prisoners, but they don’t. There is the misconception that all prisoners are low lives and deserve what’s coming to them. As we discussed, there is a difference between a teen caught with marijuana and someone that has murdered and raped. As many believe that all prisoners may deserve this treatment, I think that’s a broad generalization that needs to be reviewed.

The different laws ranging from state to state really gets me angry. It’s so dumb that someone can do something disgusting in one state and get off with a pat on the wrist and in another they would go to jail. This is where I don’t understand the legal system at all. I’m not saying that there needs to be one universal law, but at least some consistency and something that makes sense. The law we discussed in Mass., when a woman has a regret within 24 hrs and can accuse a guy of raping her (or something like that, I don’t know the exact law) got me thinking. Laws like this are frightening because I’m sure people have used it to incriminate innocent people. These types of laws leave gray areas which are tricky.

As far as the South Park episode, I haven’t seen the entire thing and I’m not sure that I want to. From the small clip that we watched I think that they may have went overboard. I like South Park and everything that they do is generally clever. I know that South Park is known for pushing limits, but if there was no point or wit about the rape scenes than I don’t agree that it should have been so graphic and in depth. I would understand the scenes if it raised some relevant questions and got people thinking about issues, but I agree that it might have just been too much and unnecessary…

Requiem for a Dream

I think this movie is brilliant. I have seen it once many years ago and remember it being very intense. During the movie last night I thought “I remember this being a lot more disturbing”…well I must have thought that too early because then the ending came and was even more intense than I remember. The movie makes my stomach turn, but I think it is reality and necessary for people to see. I like how there is no stereotypical happy ending or even a glimmer of hope…as horrible as that may sound. As we discussed in class we Americans need to have hope at the end of our movies, but this movie broke that stereotype. With a movie that begins with a son stealing his mother’s TV and selling it for drug money and the mom buying back the TV on a routine basis, the ending is going to be anything but “good” or “hopeful.”

The effects really make this movie. Without the visual and audio effects that were used I don’t think the film would be half as powerful. Especially at the end in the midst of all the character’s downward spiraling the images are all meshing together and it just looks and sounds really cool, but super horrible (like it’s supposed to be) at the same time. The characters are all connected but also so disconnected at the same time.

When watching this movie I wrote the word ADDICTION on my paper, I don’t know why I wrote it all in uppercase letters but I just felt compelled. Watching this movie I felt like I was almost experiencing an addiction because of the intensity. The question “how far will people go?” kept lingering in my mind. I love this movie because it almost makes you feel as though you are the character or at least can see things from their perspective and why they would do these things in order to keep living, which contradicts itself because it is causing their downfall and bringing them closer to death.

In class we discussed the question “what is a drug?” Usually we just think of hard drugs, pot and maybe alcohol, but this movie makes us wonder about how dieting and things that we don’t normally associate with being a drug. Sarah was addicted to the thought of being thin and able to fit in her red dress. Also, one could argue that her addiction to the TV and being on TV were also similar to drugs. She had multiple addictions in addition to her diet pills that were a drug in itself. I think that Sarah was the worst off in comparison to all the characters. Tyrone, Marianne and Harry all became addicts in a social group setting. Sarah became addicted to TV, being on TV, diet pills and this combination literally made her go crazy. She was a lonely old woman that got excited about an opportunity to be on television, which turned out pretty much ruining her life…

Readings

I really enjoyed all of these essays. All of these stories deal with losing people in your life. My favorite two were the Sedaris and Strayed stories. I like both of these because they were very realistic and I could picture these situations really happening. I liked how Sedaris’ story was comical at times, but shows how families are dysfunctional and rarely perfect. I felt bad for this family, but realized that this was how they were and no family is perfect, by far. I really felt bad for the mother, I couldn’t picture a mother not wanting to tell her son that she loves him too after Sedaris said he loved her. Coming from an affectionate family it seemed strange to me, but other families operate differently. I just wanted the mother to reach out and show some emotion, but I think it was important in this story to show that people deal with difficult situations in their own way. Many times in this story I found myself laughing out loud, but also wishing the family could have a moment of affection.

Strayed’s story shows us that sometimes people may never be the same after losing a loved one. The five steps of grieving may not help everyone to overcome a tragedy in their life. The question Strayed raises about choosing four people on a boat really made me think of the most important people in my life. Who would I choose in my life if I could only choose four and the rest would disappear? That’s a difficult question and I’m still not positive who would fill those four spots. Strayed’s husband loved her and wanted to help her, but that wasn’t enough and she slept around with random men. I think this is important because their marriage was great and she still dealt with her grieving by being unfaithful. At first I question why she would do that to her loving husband? Then I thought about it and it made perfect sense, humans are irrational and do not make sense. She felt the need to sleep with many men that she didn’t have feelings for in order to cope with her mother’s death. Maybe she was afraid to get close to another person fearing something may happen to her husband, she chose to take comfort in people she didn’t care about. In any case, both of these stories intrigued me because of the realistic components that show how humans really do act, even if it’s not right. I like how at the end she says this isn’t fiction and the story isn’t going to have a perfect ending; this is so true no one has a story with a perfect fairytale ending. I liked being able to visualize the characters in both of these stories and the plots unfolding.

The Beards story was interesting, but seemed not as realistic as some of the other stories. When reading this story it seemed as though the author was dreaming or something. But maybe the author wanted it to be told in that manner. I thought it was sad when she could tell that her husband didn’t love her anymore while he was trying to console her. At the end it seemed like everyone important in her life was fading away: the collie, her husband, Chris and her co-workers. I like at the end how she says we are in the plasmapause and a place of equilibrium, and gives the visual of a place of stillness where she is currently in her life.

The Richards story was beautifully written and I loved the descriptive language. This made me think about people in my life that are getting older and how I would deal with situations like these. Fortunately, my grandparents are all with it for the most part so I cannot identify with this, but it must be awfully sad. Also, I cannot imagine in the future having to take care of my parents with this type of illness. My parents are very young looking and they do not age to me. Seeing small signs of them aging freaks me out, so I cannot imagine having to experience their memory totally disappearing. This story is very realistic in the fact that people are either experiencing this or experiencing a loved one going through this type of illness.

I enjoyed all of these readings. They all had similar subject matters dealing with loss of people and important things in these people’s lives. None of these stories have happy endings which I like because real life rarely ends happily ever after.

Push by Sapphire

This book is ridiculously disturbing, but for some reason I couldn’t put it down and ended up reading the entire thing in one evening. This book was really really a good book, but filled with such bad things. It really kept me interested and I wanted to know what was going to happen next. This book was eye opening in the fact that I tend to complain about little things in my life that bother me: too much homework, fights with boyfriends, etc. and this poor girl can’t seem to catch a break in life. Everyday seems to be a struggle and then once things are looking up her life just crumbles again. Precious was an inspiring character, because no matter how bad things got she did not take the easy way out. She could have easily ended her life, stopped furthering her education or turned to drugs. I couldn’t help but to feel terrible for her and how nothing seemed to go in her favor. I cannot imagine ever having to deal with half of the things that haunted her on a daily basis.

I think the most inspiring part of this book is that at the end Precious seems to be finding herself and that she is worthwhile. I find it great how someone that has been through so much turmoil can turn it around and make a future for themselves. It was also amazing to me how people seemed to dismiss Precious’ problems and never tried to help her. Ms Rain at the end was a mentor for Precious and helped her express herself, but throughout the book people who found out what was happening never bothered to intervene or help. One example is the nurses and doctors at the hospital were aware that Precious was 12 years old and delivering her father’s child. I cannot fathom how people could dismiss hearing a child say something like that; they are having a child by her father and no one caring at all.

I also really appreciate how real this book is. Sapphire tells it like it is, even the most vulgar things imaginable were said bluntly in this book. I think this was important in this story because the reader could really feel the intensity of what was happening. When I read some parts of this book I was like “Wow, did she really just say that.” Also, it helps to connect with the reader on an emotional level. Everyone can understand because the story is told simply and truthfully, nothing is sugar coated. I think anyone reading this book would feel tremendously sorry for what Precious has to go through her entire life. Reading all these awful things made me question, how far can people be pushed to the edge? What is the breaking point where Precious would give up? She was a very strong character and by the end she still wanted to raise her children that were born in incest.

I know that this is just a story, but it is horrible that children do have to go through these types of experiences. I cannot imagine ever having to deal with anything like that; my heart really goes out to these people. And something else that totally confuses me is how can parents ever treat children so poorly. Parents are supposed to be loving and nurturing. I cannot see how they can bring children into the world and abuse them. Some people should never be allowed to have children-I know this is a bold statement. But with all the bullshit we hear about in the world and sad stories involving innocent children it really makes you wonder about people’s mental state and whether they are fit or not to be parents and my guess is NO.

Pain Songs

Songs, along with any form of artistic expression, are always much better when the artist is inspired by something dark and painful. Like we’ve discussed, no one wants to read a book about sunshine and butterflies. I think the same applies to music; no one wants to hear songs about happy fairy tales. People are inspired and can create betters things when they put their emotions into it, usually the emotions are dealing with hurt and sorrow. Also, listeners want to identify with songs. I think that it’s easy for people to identify with songs dealing with pain. Everyone experiences some type of pain in their life and barely anyone is always happy go lucky. When someone hears a song like Alanis Morissette’s “You oughta know” it may bring them back to a time when someone in a relationship has cheated on them or done something wrong; relationship trouble is a subject that is relatable to many. I think in this song she sounds passionate and realistic. Songs that make you want to say “screw you” to someone are quite often the best songs to listen to and also to cope with your own hurt.

Although we may think that the radio is filled with far too many whiney songs it would be far more annoying to hear too many happy songs, which would be nauseating. I think that people like to hear songs that they can identify with. Hearing painful songs makes you feel better when you know that other people have gone through the same feelings. There is a sense of a collective feeling; you know that you’re not alone. I always feel better when someone understand where I’m coming from and what I’m feeling.

I think some artists have tried to capitalize on the fact that people love to hear songs filled with pain and sorrow. These songs may have catchy lyrics and may be fun to listen to, but are not believable. For example I think the Eamon and Frankee songs are funny and catchy, but you can’t feel their emotion. On the contrary, I think songs by Nirvana and Alanis are filled with emotion and you can feel the artists’ pain through their voices. We’ve discussed how we love horror movies, being scared and seeing gory things. The same thing goes for music we love to listen to other’s people pain. Maybe we’re glad that it isn’t us or maybe we are glad that someone is feeling similar feelings to us?

I think that it’s interesting that no matter what genre of music there are primarily songs about pain, sorrow and the negative things in life. These lists of songs are so different in so many ways, yet they all deal with the same core subject matter. Artists know that pain is life. It wouldn’t be realistic to have “happy songs.” Even songs that are just for dancing and partying have in some aspect to do with leaving your significant other that didn’t treat you right and going out to have a fun time with your friends. Even songs that are supposed to be for fun deal with the aspect of pain and hurt. It is very difficult to find music that is not about pain. As much as pain may suck, it is inspiring. All of the greatest artwork, literature and music have all been inspired by trauma and the artists carry over their pain into their work. I guess the good aspect of pain is that it can inspire people to create great things. Whether the songs are believable or not I think pain definitely does achieve popularity. The song may be absolutely unbelievable, but have catchy lyrics that people like to sing. Or on the other hand the song may be filled with emotion and touch us so much that we love the song. Either way, pain is prevalent in these songs and it attracts us just like the horror movies and gore that we all love.